johtoflow:

Almost numbly, now that his mind ran through the full range of emotions, Gold turned to walk toward whatever food place was closest, looking back once to be sure Silver was in tow. It was hard to find the words. The walk, the activity, would get his brain working again after the shock of the last few minutes. His walk was a robotic cycle and his stride was slow, but it was something. 

Was Silver the person in his memories anymore? Had Gold really changed so much? It felt like he was seeing an alien after spending so much time away from Johto. When he looked at that red hair and those gleaming eyes, Gold felt the weight of home like a ghost on his back. “I really am glad to see ya.” The words surely rang hollow; they felt hollow in his mouth. “I’ve been livin’ up here away from home.” His first mistake– why had he stopped traveling? “I figured it was a good idea to get away, breathe a little.” Now that he started talking, would he be able to stop? “I’ve, uh, I found a job, n’ all. I deliver food for this place…” 

No, these weren’t the words Silver wanted to hear, but they were the only words that would come out of Gold’s mouth. A recap. Filler. “It’s a nice living, I guess, I make enough to get by since Dad cut me off, y’know, n’ they treat me pretty good, and I get medical benefits or whatever if somethin’ happens…” It was nonsense. It wasn’t worth saying. It was meaningless chatter. His heart felt like it would burst from his chest–worst had come to worst. 

He slowed to a stop, like he were the one petrified this time. Just breathe. But he couldn’t. Just move. But he couldn’t. Just hug him. Just smile. Just say you’re sorry.

But he couldn’t.

“Silv,” he started, “no, Silver. Do– Are we still friends?” Can I still trust you? Can we talk like before? Or are we too different now? “What I mean is… Do you still want to be?” Do you want me? Me, who abandoned you? Ran away from you? The answer was plain in his face, but somewhere in his heart, he needed that confirmation. He wanted to tell Silver everything, but what if he didn’t care, or what if he only came back to spite Gold, or any number of things– no, no, this is nonsense, this is just his mind overthinking again. “I… i gotta know.”

      every word is taken in carefully, ensuring to not miss a single syllable. whatever had happened to gold while they were apart, silver wanted to know everything – to assure himself, to assure crystal, to assure everyone else that had grown worried about his absence. the male can feel the tinge of guilt laced in his friend’s words, weighing heavier and heavier on his tongue as he starts to spill his explanations to him.

         now that he’s started, he shouldn’t stop; he can’t stop, and the heir wouldn’t have it any other way. while it may sound like pointless rambling, he saves the important pieces to the back of his mind: the fact his father had cut him off from expenses, the fact he was working on his own to fix the problem, what he does for the time being.

         combat boots come to a quick halt as well when he realizes gold has slowed to a stop, namesake hues studying him through the red curtain of his bangs. Gloved hands twitch at his sides, as if tempted to curl into fists – but they don’t. the exchanger takes a moment, as if to collect his thoughts, before eyes closed with a smile that’s almost amused.

                             _{idiot. who do you take me for?}

      “we never stopped being friends, gold.”   now he speaks with a rare fondness, warm and comforting to wash away the anxiety in his chest.  “i don’t care that you left, i care more that you didn’t say anything to me… but it doesn’t matter, in the end.”  the redhead steps closer then, closing the distance to stand before the raven and meet his gaze.  “run as much as you want. go to the ends of the earth if it’ll please you, but no matter what, i’ll always find you. i’ll bring you back to the people worrying about you.”

      “if it were me, you’d do the same thing. i won’t hate you.”